BPN idea, collect smurfs (from Cannibal Sector Four) in order to turn them into gold and sell to gourmets, but don't let the players know the true value of Smurfs). Remember this is Mort, so the Smurfs are going to be a little bit twisted. Here's a few to wet your immagination.

• 1. Papa Smurf
• 2. Terrorist Smurf
• 3. Pedophile Smurf
• 4. Hungry Smurf
• 5. Cannable Smurf
• 6. Ex-War Criminal Smurf
• 7. Serial Killer Smurf
• 8. Pimp Smurf
• 9. Cult Leader Smurf
• 10. Smurfette
• 11. Stormer Smurf
• 12. Jesus Smurf
• 13. Handy Smurf
• 14. Sickly Smurf
• 15. Skinhead Smurf
• 16. The Unismurfer
• 17. Devil Smurf
• 18. Fraidy Smurf
• 19. Thresher Smurf
• 20. Idiot Smurf
• 21. Grampa Smurf
• 22. Manchine Smurf
• 23. Druggie Smurf
• 24. Exorcist Smurf
• 25. WE NEED BIGGER GUNS Smurf
• 26. Smurfo the Clown
• 27. Necrophile Smurf
• 28. The Marquis de Smurf
• 29. Vampire Smurf
• 30. Lunitic Smurf
• 31. Jyhad Smurf
• 32. The SmurfNight Agent
• 33. Smurf Ninja
• 34. Amazon Smurf
• 35. Roleplayer Smurf
• 36. Dead Smurf (previously named "Brainy")
• 37. Third Eye Smurf
• 38. Ebon Smurf
• 39. Brain Waster Smurf
• 40-55. (drug of choice) Smurf
• 56. Sniper Smurf
• 57. Priapist Smurf
• 58. Orange Catholic Smurf
• 59. Clockwork Orange Smurf
• 60. Orange Smurf (keeps complaining how "the Man" keeps him down)
• 61. Heat Seeking Smurf
• 62. Vivisection Smurf
• 63. Cloak Division Smurf
• 64. Transvestite Smurf
• 65. Transsexual Smurf (hey smurfette's only one lady, she can use the help)
• 66. Mark of the Beast Smurf
• 67. Big Smurf Boingy Rat
• 68. Lawyer Smurf
• 69. Bible Banger Smurf (wishes to kill Jesus smurf because of turning the other cheek policy)
• 70. Smurfkle and Ebert
• 71. Witchfinder Corporal "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery nor Shall Ye Lay With Beasts" Pulsifer Smurf
• 72. Sucidal Smurf
• 73. Umbrella Smurf
• 74. Felatio Smurf (for when Smurfette and Transsexual are both busy)
• 75. Caltrop Smurf (don't step on him)
• 76. Smurfy Ricardo (star of popular Smurf T.V. program)
• 77. Bomb Shelter Smurf
• 78. Lusty Smurf
• 79. Ed McSmurf (you may already be a winner)
• 80. Immolated Smurf (pissed of Brain Waster Smurf)
• 81. Inebrated Smurf
• 82. Incontinant Smurf
• 83. Pope Smurf MCCXLVIII
• 84. The Smurfinator
• 85. Dead Smurf (he pissed off Brain Waster Smurf too)
• 86. Dead Smurf (he stood to close to number 85)
• 87. Smurf of the Baskervilles
• 88. The Smurfcream Man (jingling bells always betray his approach)
• 89. Internet Smurf
• 90. Radioactive Smurf
• 91. Jorj X. Smurf Smurfituer Extrodinair
• 92. Downtown Smurf
• 93. Baron Smurfkonan
• 94. Death Smurf
• 95. War Smurf
• 96. Pestilence Smurf
• 97. Famine Smurf
• 98. Pollution Smurf
• 99. Running out of ideas Smurf
• 100. Mr. Smurfer

SMURF STATS

STR 2
DEX 6
DIA 2-8
CONC 2-8
PHYS 4
KNOW 2-8
CHA 12+ (they're so cute)
COOL 5 (1 for fraidy smurf and 20 for Jyhad Smurf)
Hits: 6

General Skills

Smurfing: 10 (this skill covers anything the smurf's area of specialty covers, e.g. bombs for Terrorist Smurf or leadership for Papa Smurf) This is above the STAT maximum because of the Smurfiness factor.

Running: at PHYS level.

Goodness: 5. Their "goodness" is subtracted from any "to hit" rolls made against smurfs.

HEIGHT: Three apples
WEIGHT: Under 1 kg.
WALK: "Are we there yet?"
RUN: DMC (Dungeon Master's Call?)
SPRINT: too fast to catch

Armour: white pants. (Execption, Thresher Smurf has Sarge)

Weapons: Variable, but usually they just run away from Operatives.

Alright, they're out, now we never want to hear about them or mutant penguins again, ever, under no circumstances, clear?